The urge to be intimate fades away when the relationship is no longer new.
But any couple can have a good, happy and positive life together even when those intimate moments in the bedroom become fewer and fewer.
If couples focus on the more important things that do not take place in the bedroom, they can create a connection that deepens and strengthens their feelings for each other.
For instance, a study in the Journal of Marriage and Family showed that couples who communicate and listen to each other have a more satisfying relationship, which tops the stuff that happens in bed.
So, what other things are more important in a relationship than physical intimacy?
Read on to find some examples below.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
HERE ARE 25 THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX
1. YOU HAVE MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER
You and your partner are two different people but you understand that your differences in background, tastes, preferences, and opinion are what make you so good together. You don’t impose on each other to have the same likes or dislikes. Instead, you respect and celebrate your differences.
2. YOU WANT THE SAME THINGS
Despite your differences, you and your partner are always on the same page when it comes to your relationship. You have the same end goal and you want the same thing: to live a harmonious and positive life together for many years. Even if you have the sparks in the bedroom, your relationship won’t last if you’re not on the same page.
3. YOU COMMUNICATE WELL WITH EACH OTHER
You can voice your opinions and feelings to your partner honestly and openly. Not only can you express yourself in the bedroom, but also in your everyday conversations. You always have real conversations, where you discuss your happiness or frustrations or seek advice from each other, or contemplate the meaning of life.
4. YOU LISTEN TO EACH OTHER
Good communication also means that you and your partner listen to what the other one has to say. If you’re upset, you can bring this up to your partner without fear of being judged, rejected, reprimanded, or hurt.
5. YOU SUPPORT EACH OTHER
Having a great partner for life means you have an instant ally. You have someone you can always tag team with when life gets tough and you have to hurdle so many things. You are each other’s biggest fans and you’re always the first to throw your support into whatever new venture or project your partner gets involved with.
Each of you have different roles and obligations in your family but you have each other’s back when one is not able to fulfill this obligation. For instance, your wife might not be able to sit down with the kids for bed tonight because she has a report to finish. So, you step up and take over because you want her to focus on the report.
6. YOU GIVE COMPLIMENTS ALL THE TIME
You’re also generous with your compliments to each other. You don’t forget to thank your wife for baking her first fondant. You don’t miss the opportunity to uplift and motivate your husband when he’s about to deliver his first lecture to a crowd.
7. YOU MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH
You’re not afraid to be goofy in front of your partner or worry that he might find you unattractive. On the contrary, you laugh with each other and you laugh all the time, even when you’re sharing those awkward moments in bed. When couples make each other laugh, living becomes less stressful.
An expert from the University of Kansas looked into the data of 15,000 couples in different studies that ran for 30 years. He found out that couples who made each other laugh had a longer, lasting partnership. They bond and create a positive vibe when they look for amusing and positive things in their everyday life together.
8. YOU LIKE TO TRY SOMETHING NEW
Couples who like trying something new inside and outside of the bedroom have a stronger relationship. Since intimacy can sometimes become a routine, you try to do stuff you’ve never done before to keep the relationship exciting. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships indicated that couples who try new things don’t bore each other out in the relationship.
9. YOU KNOW HOW TO HAVE QUALITY TIME
You don’t always spend your time together in bed, so what do you do together when you’re not intimate? Couples who love spending quality time with each other, even without getting intimate, can do everything from the most interesting to the basic stuff.
These couples are always up for a good time together. It doesn’t matter if they are on a romantic vacation in Paris or just hanging out in their living room. They know how to have a good time.
10. YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE A LOT
You cuddle a lot when you’re together with your significant other. You love getting close to your partner and you’re comfortable touching and hugging in public. If you’re waiting in line at the supermarket, his hand is on your waist or shoulders, or you’ve got your hands clasped while you’re reading a book on the couch in your living room.
11. YOU ARE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS
You understand that what you need can’t come from just one person. So, you set realistic expectations in your relationship and don’t demand that your partner fills everything so you can have a satisfying life. So, you still keep a network people who shower you with attention or care. Your partner also recognizes that he’s not the only one who can make you happy.
12. YOU MAKE AN EFFORT TO GET CLOSE TO EACH OTHER’S FRIENDS
Research in the American Psychological Association shows that couples who intermingle with different groups of friends have a deeper relationship and achieve better marital quality. It’s important to make your significant person feel part of the friendships you’ve formed with other people. It raises your connectedness as a couple.
13. YOU TRUST EACH OTHER
A relationship that lacks trust can bring paranoia and suspicion, no matter how great you are together in bed. But you won’t feel the need to constantly check up on your partner to the point of stalking if you have trust. You also don’t come up with baseless accusations each time your partner doesn’t immediately reply to your messages.
14. YOU ARE LOYAL TO EACH OTHER
Trust is, of course, linked to loyalty. If you’ve agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, making that commitment to have eyes only for your partner is more valuable than your intimacy in bed. If your relationship is not conventional, you’re still expected to faithfully comply with common rules if you want what’s good for your relationship.
15. YOU FORGIVE EACH OTHER
It’s normal for tension, differences, and problems to crop up in a relationship because you’re always adjusting to each other’s needs. Humans aren’t perfect and everyone makes mistakes. But if you’re the forgiving type, your relationship will be able to weather any problems.
16. YOU ACCEPT YOUR MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM IT
Being forgiven for your mistakes is good but it’s even better if you’re willing to grow in a relationship. It takes maturity to learn from your mistake and make a commitment not to repeat it.
17. YOU PICK YOUR BATTLES
You recognize that not every issue needs to be fought about in your relationship. You’d rather pick your battles than argue over everything because your need to live in a harmonious and positive environment is more important than your need to be right.
18. YOU’RE ACTUALLY BEST FRIENDS WITH YOUR PARTNER
You won’t always have the greatest intimate moments in the bedroom. But your relationship can outlast the rest if you are best friends with your partner. Best friends confide to each other. They are not afraid to be vulnerable and accepting of each other’s weakness.
19. YOU’RE NOT DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER
Even if your partner is your best friend, you don’t live your life fully dependent on him. You give each other space and even consider spending time apart when necessary.
20. YOU REMAIN PASSIONATE ABOUT EACH OTHER
Passion does not just equate to the intimacy in bed. Passion is also about your dedication to work your problems out in the relationship, especially when it’s not always going to be smooth sailing.
21. YOU’RE GENEROUS AND THOUGHTFUL TO YOUR PARTNER
You make it a point to give something to your partner just because you think she will love it. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift; it can be a simple gesture. For example, you save the last slice of the cake because you want your partner to get the last bite. You leave notes on her bag or send her messages on her phone at random times of the day just to let her know she’s in your thoughts.
22. YOU ARE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S SAFE SPACE
A great intimate moment with your partner can bring satisfaction, but your relationship can deepen if you provide a safe space for your partner. A safe space is where you feel loved, accepted, and allowed to be yourself – regardless of your gender, faults, and vulnerabilities.
23. YOU EXERCISE TOGETHER
According to Prevention magazine, 94 percent of couples who workout together have a stronger relationship, and a good life in the bedroom to boot. Working out not only makes you physically fit as it also boosts the energy and the libido.
24. YOU DON’T FAIL TO ASK ABOUT EACH OTHER’S DAY
While it might seem like small talk to ask your man about how his day went, this habit is actually a great way for couples to build a positive connection. Relationship experts say sharing small chats like this every night can make couples grow closer to each other.
25. YOU DO LOVE EACH OTHER
It’s hard to actually describe the kind of love that perfectly-matched couples share but you know what it is when you have it. You may have the urge to sleep with someone even if you don’t have strong feelings for that person. But when that urge goes away, you won’t be sticking around in the relationship if you don’t have love.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX
A long, lasting and positive relationship needs more than physical intimacy to survive. Couples who transcend the physical aspect grow more attached and connected because of what they share together outside of the bedroom.
Are you’re looking forward to growing old together? Do you care more about being connected emotionally than having a private time in bed? Then what you’ve got is the best thing about being in a relationship and that surely feels wonderful.