1. Inspected a blood clot on the toilet paper after wiping.
2. And examined a tampon after taking it out.
3. Gotten your pubes stuck to the back of a pad and had to rip it off.
4. Layered up pads to make a “pad nappy” so that you don’t leak in the night.
5. Flushed a toilet multiple times because little streaks of blood were still in the water.
6. Felt a blood clot just plop out while you’re on the toilet.
7. Gotten out of the shower and left little blood spots on the floor before you’ve had a chance to put knickers on.
8. So had to do a mini-run to grab your underwear.
9. Smuggled a pad or tampon up your sleeve on your way to the bathroom.
10. Sat and wondered if you’ve leaked or if your butt is just sweaty.
11. Crossed your legs while sitting down to try and stop the flow.
12. Stood up and felt the full force of that flow anyway.
13. Pooed way more than normal thanks to those notorious period shits.
14. Or the opposite, and been stopped up for days at a time.
15. Wiped after pooing only to see more blood than poo on the paper.
16. Waddled like a penguin when you woke up because you have a pad full of blood.
17. Asked someone to check the back of your clothes for leaks.
18. Tried to do it yourself in vain.
19. Used toilet paper as an emergency.
20. Not been able to tell the difference between period pains and “I need to shit” pains until the last minute.
21. Worn a pad or tampon a bit longer than you really should.
22. Felt weirdly satisfied by seeing the blood wash away when you’re in the shower.
23. Tried to subtly rearrange your pad but looked like you’re pulling out a wedgie.
24. Had blood move up towards the back of your butt, and wondered how the fuck it got there.
25. Been moved to tears by something slightly inconsequential, like finding out a show you were planning to watch was taken off Netflix.
26. Experienced the full spectrum of human emotions within the space of a few hours.
27. Dreaded the second and third days of your period before they’ve even happened.
28. Panicked that you already have a tampon in when you put in a new one.
29. Double checked every chair after getting up just in case you leaked on it.
30. Sometimes discreetly laid a cardigan or jacket down as protection against this.
31. Adjusted your wardrobe to all dark colours from the waist down.
32. And to anything that accommodates bloating.
34. Felt slightly thrilled when the blood starts going brown because the end must be near.
35. Thought it was over, worn your nice underwear, and then started bleeding again.