'John Dumelo should be contained'

I sometimes get queasy when I see posts from guys on my timeline advocating for polygamy just because it's part of our culture as Africans.

I don't believe in accepting social norms just because it's deemed to be part of who we are. I prefer probing and understanding things for what it is and then apply it to my reality as a final litmus test to determine whether it's worth accepting as a 'norm'.

Polygamy (a.k.a womanising, harem keeping) is not a trait in men we should be encouraging or rewarding in our society.

I'm particularly disturbed by men like John Dumelo who seems to be given a free pass and big media platform to share such potentially damaging promotion of certain behaviour such as womanising. Listen to the discussion aired on JoyNews between him and Kojo Yankson and another regarding marriage and polygamy.

So it's extremely worrying for me to see how men and some women happily cheer him on when he shares his misguided opinion on men and their right to be polygamous. It's just plain irresponsible!

1. There's no better substitute than a two-parent household to raising children.
2. Most men who are polygamous end up alone, bitter and unhappy in their later years.
3. Family is the simplest building block to nation building, majority of polygamous households are built on confusion and hurt, it's a direct threat to cohesive family structures.
4. It's an excuse for ill-disciplined men to womanise.

Just by looking at our societies, neighborhoods and immediate families that practised polygamy, can we honestly say that polygamy was beneficial?

Our grandparents and great grandparents were polygamous, how did that help the generations which followed them? Are we better off?

Between a two-parent household and a polygamous household, who benefits when it comes to care, taking care of material needs of children? The only party who benefits albeit temporarily from polygamy is the man. It comes from gross selfishness and illusions of grandeur. Any man who proudly advocates for this behaviour is one that should be treated with the utmost suspicion.

Monogamy is our best choice if our aim is to build a safe, cohesive society for all. John Dumelo is a threat because of the influence he has on our modern culture.

By: Kate Tutu, Business Development Consultant