This is how you save your relationship from social media

Social media has been consuming a lot of our time. It's so narcissistically regarding for some reason. And this has lead to spending little time with the people around you. Before social media, the main way most of us got to feel special and important was through our relationships, especially romantic relationships. Unfortunately, if you belong to the community of people who thinks social media validation is bigger than real relationships in your life, you need to fix this. So, what's the solution? It's not enough to just ask your partner to 'put the phone down'. The problem is deeper than that. And to really solve this problem, you need to understand the psychology of how digital media really works. Social media apps and platforms give you lots of attention, they give you a sense of accomplishment and they make you feel loved. Accordingly, there are three things that you can do to save your relationship from technology.

- Reclaim attention in your relationship: In a long-term relationship giving attention to each other eventually fades. Other things start to make demands on your partner's time and energy and you have to go back feeling satisfied with less of their attention. Your smartphone is designed to give you all the attention that you need. It never has anything else on its mind. But there's one thing your partner can do that your smartphone can't. Your smartphone can't enjoy you. Being enjoyed is the best kind of attention anyone can ask for. All you have to do is selfishly enjoy each other, doing anything and everything. Once you start enjoying your partner for their little things, they'll get happy and will start enjoying you too. Your capacity to enjoy each other is the only secret weapon that you have against smartphones.

- Stop doing and start being: The human mind is restless and it constantly needs challenges. Most of us crave a sense of mastery that comes from meeting new obstacles and conquering them. The beginning of a new relationship involves challenges - disagreements, misunderstandings and conflicts. They'll keep you busy till the time you both are settled down in the relationship. But this could spell trouble for the restless mind of yours that always craves new obstacles. Social media then rushes in to fill that void. It keeps your restless mind fully occupied with some or the other challenges. So many couples these days end up lying next to each other and spend endless time on their respective devices than on each other. The best solution to this issue is to spend a few minutes with each other every single day with all your devices switched off or far away from you both. When you stop solving problems, you commit to just doing nothing at all with each other which leads to mindfulness. It makes you pay attention to each other without any judgment. Cultivating mindfulness together will act as a welcome break from all the problem-solving that you otherwise do throughout the day.

- Realize the Internet isn't ever going to love you back: Anyone with a smartphone and a social media account can start to crave a lot of attention online in terms of likes, follows and comments. Your real relationships can thus wither from lack of interest. It's not a surprise that most married couples these days wake up in the morning and reach out for their phones rather than for each other. The best way to fix this situation is to let yourself burn out on social media. Let yourself get tired and bored of it. No matter how many likes you get, there's always going to be someone who has more. Your smartphone will never really know you. Neither will most people who follow you on social media. But there's someone who wants to know you again and that's your partner. So go ahead and pay some attention to them. They'll love you back, unlike social media.

Source: indiatimes.com