Query: I have been best friends with someone for last eight years and we share a really great bond. Last week, she confessed she is bisexual and has a crush me on. It was then when I realised how she had been touching me since past few months and dropping hints about her attraction towards me. I remained calm and clarified her that I 'hate' being touched by anyone without my permission and told her I am straight. She joked and touched me again (at my private area) two days back and I had a huge fight with her. Now, I don’t want to be friends with her and in fact, I want to cut off all my contacts. At times, I feel I was molested. Am I overreacting or is this the right thing to do? —By Anonymous
Response by Ms. Rachana Awatramani: It can come across shocking to you that your best friend is bisexual. I understand that you are feeling molested as she touched you in an inappropriate manner few months ago. You are absolutely right when you say that no one can touch you without your permission. I see that you had a fight with her and currently, you are thinking if you should continue your friendship with her or just ignore her completely.
Everyone has the right to speak about their sexuality however, they don’t have the right to force someone to like them. I understand that you have a great bond with your friend and she confessed about her sexuality to you last week. Reflect on what took her so long to admit this about her to you. As it is an old friendship, try and give some space to each other. Speaking to a counsellor individually can help both of you.
I comprehend that you are confused whether you are overreacting about the situation or not, and you don’t know what is right and wrong. Let me tell you no one can opine what is right and wrong, you will have to define that for yourself based on your values, ethics, comfort and experiences.
- Ms. Rachana Awatramani is a Counseling Psychologist at Insight Counseling Services in Mumbai
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