Letting go of a person who’s been with you through thick and thin, is hard. It pains to let go, even if it’s for the best. Marriages are said to construct lives while divorces break every little foundation. It pushes you towards one corner and despite the liberation from the marriage, you end up feeling despair. Why should you feel so?

Marriages don’t work when often there’s no connection, love or stability left between the married couple. If endless therapies and conversations could not make it work, it wasn’t meant to be. Somewhere along the way, you realised that the marriage can’t work anymore because sometimes love and trust lose their way; and to be honest, it’s okay. In such instances, the only option left is either to compromise for the sake of your family or agree to a divorce. Both situations are equally hard to implement onto your personal lives.

Societal beliefs disregard the value of divorces Some people sacrifice their happiness to let others live peacefully, while others chose not to. For those, who chose to compromise are hailed as understanding and mature while others who go for a divorce are scorned upon. The society looks down on divorces and deems it as a problem in people’s mindsets. “Everyone should compromise in a marriage, divorce is not an option,” is what most couples hear in day to day life from their relatives and other known people. It has been portrayed as an act that is against the culture and religion of our society. According to many, divorces destroy them, emotionally.

Whether garnering the same amount of respect as others or getting job opportunities, people automatically assume that divorcees aren’t usually in the right state of mind. Letting go of your former spouse can indeed take a toll on the mind, but mostly it’s for the best. However, one’s performance on their job or getting the same amount of respect as others has absolutely nothing to do with getting divorced. Maybe the controversies arise because of the deep-engraved societal values that if a couple can’t compromise on their private life, they can't work appropriately on other things as well. They aren’t deemed fit to be a part of society.
They are just mere humans, right? The only difference between them and others was that they saw a possibility to separate themselves instead of working on marital problems, that somehow, could never be fixed. Some feel heartbroken while some feel thrilled about getting out of their marriages. However, it’s not that simple. Such a significant life change takes time to adjust and many often doubt if their choice was the right one or not. Patience and perseverance can teach the person to slowly understand and trust the process, for ultimately, it will bring them peace. Divorces set you free, they don’t put you down You have to be reasonable in handling your emotions. If you feel overwhelmed by the separation process, maybe it’s time to slow down and take it easy. Since most divorces end in negative feelings, it gets quite hard to look at the positive side, as most say. Most marriages leave a scar on the soul and it’s very hard to recover from it but we really need to understand that divorce is the end of a legal agreement, not the end of the world.
It’s imperative to consider the positive implications of divorce in your life. You are no longer tied to a person and if their views and opinions hurt you before, they are of no need now. Slowly, you’ll feel that slight gush of wind that indicates your freedom from tightened bonds that refused to let you breathe. It liberates you from endless ties of fights, disagreements and pain.
Regardless of whether you both have children or not, your decision shouldn’t vary. Rather, your kids won’t have to live in the centre of an unhappy home. Amongst fights and disagreements, your children also suffer from the harsh-hitting environment at home. These can largely affect the mental and emotional state of children and in many cases, similar instances also start reflecting in their lives down the line. Hence, your children will be able to lead a happy and content life devoid of any arguments or instability. Sure enough, they won’t be able to see their parents together most of the time, but it’s arguably the best decision to come onto.
You can also focus on your children in a way you’ve never done before. If you have been fighting, that leaves you sad most of the time. As a result, you fail to look after your kids as well. You miss out on a ‘Let’s go out for ice-cream’ or ‘how are you feeling today,
beta?’ Researches say that if you’ve recently divorced, then you can find yourself indulging in your children's lives more often. This deepens the bond and increases love and trust. In the end, it’s you

After your divorce, you'll find that there’s no longer any ‘baggage’ or emotional restraint between you and your former spouse. They no longer manifest themselves in your day to day life. This way, both of you can start afresh and think of living a different life. Your life canvas is now fresh and new and ready to be coloured again.

You must have had dreams and aspirations that you had to subdue because of your marriage. many times, for the sake of your family, you can’t go after your dreams. But now, your newly singlehood will provide you with ample opportunities to pursue new hobbies, meet and mingle with new people and do things you could never do while you were married. The best part? Now you won’t have to fight and argue rigorously after a stressful day. You can sleep on your own bed and have the whole space to yourself. Even if the bed feels empty for some time, in the beginning, remember it’s the path towards your own discovery and independence. The feeling although can be bitter at first, can turn into a wholesome moment later. Now, your own happiness matters.

A failed marriage doesn’t mean you stop believing in romance and undermine your faith in the concept of marriage. Your relationship didn’t work with your former partner, but you can always take lessons and be hopeful towards finding the right person. Truthfully, the saying, ‘you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince’ rightfully comes into existence in this instance. However, if you’re not looking for a partner again, then it’s perfectly okay as well. You don't have to bend into society’s will making you believe that without a partner, you are worthless. Again, it’s you, you and you. If you think it’s the time to work and improve yourself, then be it. Don’t be afraid to take steps that will help you regain your confidence in yourself because sometimes, after a time leap, taking incredulous steps can be scary.

Focus on being the best version of yourself.

Now that being said, it’s highly suggested that you stop considering yourself a failure just because your marriage didn't work and ended in a divorce. It didn’t work out and it’s alright. A divorce doesn’t mean that as an individual, you have failed. It’s just differences between two people that failed to work out. Stop letting the society’s deceitful and harmful voices creep into you because at the end of the day, they won’t be there to wipe off your tears after a fight, instead, it'll just be you. Society does what its best at - passing judgements. Etch this onto your heart, move past judgements and believe that after the divorce, nothing short of a beautiful life waits ahead of you.

Source: indiatimes.com