Hello my future self,

Wondering who it is? You may remember me from the time you were in your 20s or 30s. I am younger bubbly self now. I just want to make sure that you’re alright when you read this, years later. After, all we practically can’t sip teas together considering I won’t be present there physically. But remember this, I’ll always be within your own conscience; your younger self constantly backing you up.

I wonder sometimes, how will you be later down the line? Will you be exactly like how I am right now? Reckless, impulsive and playful? I spend my days creatively; going places, meeting new people, experimenting and what not? It’s the age, you know. I’m in my youth days right now and it has never been better. I smile infectiously, in fact, everyone around me loves my energy and how I smile! You’d be proud to know that I’m that one person among everyone whose vibes are so attractive, it has got people buzzing around me like flies. That’s a weird comparison but you probably aren’t surprised. I’m a mix of weirdness and loveliness if that even makes sense.

So, back to telling you about my current story. I’m spontaneous as well. Our parents constantly stay worried fearing what their daughter might do again today. I did internships, volunteered in social-help events and even changed jobs. Well, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have stability, but more like, I don’t want to miss out on any chance of getting new experiences. I have my 40s and 50s to settle down; well that’s exactly what you’re here for.
But it’s not all fun and games. I had my fair share of heartbreaks and pain. I was able to deal with them until now. I wrote journals, went trekking and did almost all singlehood-inspired activities there could be. In the end, you know what I learnt? It was me who held back from moving on. That freedom taught me that I needed none to realise I could be happy as well. Relationships, friendships, all taught me several lessons as I met new people and watched many leave eventually. I was able to handle all these things, sometimes with great difficulty and other time with ease. I won’t conclude that I’ve matured really well till now, but I honestly hope you’ve aged like fine wine. I’m sure of it, you’ve had hard heartbreaks and difficult life choices to make and even if it stabbed you in the heart, you must have made the right decision.
Countless therapists and guidances must have been on the cards for you because somewhere I know both of us struggle to come to terms with our emotions. Hence, many a time it served as the foundation for the upcoming breakup. However, I have this strong feeling that you’re okay now. You must come into terms with your feelings and accept other’s flaws as their own, especially yours. Flaws are beautiful. It’s what makes a person human. I’m dying to know who my current hand-in-hand old life partner is, but I have faith that it’s someone who makes us smile and feel content for what we are. That’s a blessing, don’t you think?
Now that we’ve moved on from heartbreaks and love, what I really want you to know is that, if you’ve stuck to chasing your dreams. I know that right now, all I want to do is always keep going no matter what and never stop. I love writing and I want to have a travel blog. Imagine going places and being able to pen down your experiences. What a dream life! But this wonder always creeps in, did I finally achieve that down the line? Did you go on that Ladakh trip that I always wanted to go to, because I haven’t, yet. I’m still scared to take that spontaneous step to travel solo.
Also, handling children has been our forte from day one, isn’t it? From helping kids in NGO’s to teaching underprivileged kids in villages, I’ve done all that makes me feel like I have contributed at least my bit towards the wellness of a society. Little kids are still one of my favourites, enough that I’ve always wanted two of them and a golden lab to tag along. That’s a picture-perfect scenario; two kids, my significant other and a lively golden lab. Not to be an outright futuristic person, but thinking about this, makes me teary-eyed. All these wishes and yearns that I have right now, I simply hope they have come true.
Anger, anxiety issues, I have tons of them but I still do my best in reasoning practically and subduing my anger. I try to act like a good old lady. You know, my therapist says I'm a really considerate and kind person, it's just that sometimes, my anger and issues take out the worst in me. Well, I know for a fact that my closed ones completely understand and support me in every step. That's what matters. However if you still have anger issues, good luck to our husband to solve them!

Lastly, what I really want to know is that have you loved yourself enough? I truly wish that our tender heart has been kind enough to us all the way. There is no abundance of love from people, but a little self-love has never harmed anyone. I remember, when I was a kid, I used to look in the mirror and be sceptical of wearing that frock I always wanted to. I just could not and nor did I have anyone to tell me I looked pretty either way. I felt ugly, fat and just not beautiful. But, I wish I was there to tell my younger self to look up and give the prettiest smile while wearing that frock. I tell myself right now, that confidence and self-worth and realisation is what takes to love yourself right now. However, to be honest, doubts still make their way and I ask myself, ‘Can I even do this? Can I even wear this?’ I still delve in self-love issues. That’s why I hope you’ve hugged yourself tighter and learned to love the little girl and me inside you. Don't worry though. It’s not all on you, you don’t have to be the only one to give efforts because I promise, we both have been trying our best too.

I have faith that by little steps, our kid self, me and you, all three of us are going to get through this whirlwind of a life and emerge as winners. I hope that one day when you reminisce our life, you only smile genuinely.

Till then, farewell.


Your younger self

Source: indiatimes.com