Query: I am going through a very difficult phase. My best friend, whom I have known since school days, is dating my ex-girlfriend. It’s been 5 years since we had an ugly break-up and he knew about it as well. We were in the final year of our college and all of us have moved ahead in life since then. Recently, he broke the news that he is dating my ex-girlfriend. They are now colleagues, and according to him, they just fell in love. I feel betrayed. He is my best friend. How could he date a girl with whom I had an affair once? What should I do?

Response by Shweta Singh: Thank you for writing to us. You have mentioned that it’s been five years since you had an ugly break-up. And when you discovered that your best friend is dating her, it upsets you and makes you feel like you are going through a difficult time.
Two things might be happening here. Since you recently discovered your best friend's relationship with the girl you were once in love with, you are feeling awkward and confusing this discomfort with anger and resentment, which is leading you to believe that you are going through a bad phase. Feeling awkward at the discovery of the situation that you have experienced, is very natural. Give it some time.
The other thing might be that you are yet to get over the break-up. Since you said it was an ugly break-up, perhaps you didn’t have a proper closure. The best way to get over this feeling is by looking for a closure and accepting the current situation.

Remember, your past is the past for a reason. And since he is your best friend, you need to be able to express everything to him. If you are upset, let him know. Talk to him. The more you try to suppress what you feel about their relationship, the difficult it will be for you to accept the truth. And most importantly, give yourself some time to get over this.

Shweta Singh is a Senior Consultant Psychologist

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Source: indiatimes.com