Query: Hi, I got married nine months back and my father in law's interest in my finances has started irritating me. He always asks me how much I am saving, my annual package, FDs, insurance details and what not. After his requests, I had to give him all my finance related documents as well. I don't question his intentions and I know he is not a greedy person. He handles the finances of the entire house but I am not used to it. My father never questioned me similar things, and I am capable of managing my finances myself. How should I explain this to my father-in-law without straining my ties? —By Anonymous
Response by Ms. Rachana Awatramani: In some cultures and families, the head of the family usually takes care of the finances of all the members. Also, some members might not be comfortable sharing all the information with the elders, especially when you are conditioned or raised in a different culture and upbringing.
I comprehend that you got married nine months ago and your father-in-law has been questioning you about your savings and investments. I understand that it can be irritating as you are not used to of such kind of behaviour. You mentioned that he is a good person and his intentions are not bad. Therefore, I would suggest you to speak to him. You can say that you have already shared your financial documents with him and ask him to trust you on the savings and investments related matters. You can invest little more time with him in trust building and also having healthy conversations on money matters.
You can also share your feelings with your partner and have a family meeting to discuss the finances of the entire house.
- Ms. Rachana Awatramani is a Counseling Psychologist at Insight Counseling Services in Mumbai
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