Query: Hi, my girlfriend and I are in a serious relationship from eight months and have plans of getting married once we are settled in our respective careers. The problem is her brother who is seven years older than her. He read our Whatsapp chat and got to know about our relationship. Since that day, he has been almost threatening me to stop dating her and has been behaving rudely with her as well. Initially, I thought he was just being protective and I did not mind his calls. But now, he has started influencing her and since she loves him as well, she is thinking about breaking up with me. Such circumstances are normal in a relationship and things eventually fall into place but my girlfriend doesn’t understand this. Help!-
Response by Ms. Rachana Awatramani: Not everything in a relationship is simple, especially when it comes to your partner’s family. In some situations, it can take a lot of time for them to accept the relationship because they might have different expectation levels.
I comprehend that your girlfriend’s elder brother dislikes you and has been creating a very challenging situation for you both. I can understand you are stressed as he has been threatening you and now, he has also started pressurising your girlfriend to leave you. I see that you are aware that these situations arise in a relationship. However, your girlfriend is not understanding and is getting influenced by her brother, and thinks she should break up with you.
In this challenging situation, I would suggest few things. Firstly, you will have to keep patience and give little space to your girlfriend and her family as this situation is new for you as well as new for her elder brother.
Secondly, confidently speak to your girlfriend and express your feelings towards this situation. You can also share that you expect little support and time to be given to this situation.
You both can also visit a relationship counsellor to understand how to cope with this situation as a team.
- Ms. Rachana Awatramani is a counselling psychologist in Mumbai
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