Query: I am a 35-year-old man and had married my girlfriend against my parents’ wishes. Their only objection to our marriage was the age gap—she is seven years older than me. Although we have been married for three years but my parents never miss and opportunity to taunt my wife. They even insult her saying she isn’t being able to conceive a child because of her age although nothing is medically wrong with her and we are still trying for a child. My wife has been very patient but when my parents blame her for being childless, it hurts her a lot and she gets very upset. I have tried talking to my parents but it does not help. Please tell me what should I do?
Response by Shweta Singh: I can totally understand your predicament. But you need to support your wife in this difficult time. Motherhood is a cherished moment for any woman and when she is insulted by anyone, it can cause her a lot of pain.
As you have mentioned that both of you are still trying to have a child and your wife is medically fit, you should let your parents know about this. At least, try to make them understand that unnecessary stress can have an adverse effect on anyone’s health, especially a woman who is trying to have a child. If they want you and your wife to have a child, they should not think or talk negatively about her. Request them to be a little sensitive.
I agree that it’s difficult to change people’s perception, especially if it’s about old age beliefs related to marriage. However, you should continue your efforts to make your patents understand age is no bar for a successful marriage.
Although I have no doubt that you are already taking good care of your wife, but these are testing times and you need to shower her with love and care. Be her pillar of strength. If you feel that your wife is unable to cope up with the situation and your parents’ insults are growing worse, you can always seek help of professional counselors to make them understand.
Shweta Singh is a Senior Consultant Psychologist
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