The social media page of relationship expert, David Papa Bondze-Mbir, had users engaged in a heated debate on why men mostly cheat in marriages or during courtship.
Infidelity has long been part of our history as humans. And in our digital age, we have lots of movies, TV shows, and music portraying such.
It is difficult to clearly identify just one perfect reason why people decide to cheat on their partners.
According to a publication by focusonthefamily.com, these are the reasons why people cheat:
For sexual satisfaction.
To give a conscious or subconscious “wake-up call” to the spouse. This might happen if your spouse has a different kind of “lover” outside of your marriage, such as a consuming career or hobby.
To inflate a bruised ego.
A friendship gets out of control.
Your spouse doesn’t live up to your expectations anymore.
On November 13, 2019, one of the thousands of followers of Papa Bondze-Mbir, who identified himself as an Ewe justified why men from his tribe cheat.
According to the man who asked to be anonymous, "NO Ewe man on this planet earth is faithful to just one woman. And when I speak of ‘faithfulness’, kindly know what I mean, fidelity. No Ewe man will sleep with just his wife or girlfriend and be content. It’s not in our nature. I don’t know about other tribes, so I speak of my own. We love dearly, work very hard to support our homes. We toil for our families to live comfortably. We love our children, we appreciate our wives, but we keep an extramarital affair on the side to help us focus and stay sane".
His post had over 20 shares with over 1.7K comments when published by David Papa Bondze-Mbir.
Some social media users, however, described his assertion as a hasty generalization, and not the true reflection of men from the Ewe tribe.
Read some of the reactions below:
Read his full story below, monitored by Ghanaweb below:
Yesterday’s post and comments on monogamy has pushed me out to also have a say on the topic. I almost faced a similar situation six years ago, with my ex-girlfriend.
I think of her even today, though I am happily married with kids. She was my true love. In fact, she is my true love and friend. It’s just unfortunate she allowed my inability to commit to fidelity - to end a possible lifetime of something beautiful and true.
She had her doubts about me, which was understandable. I double-check every woman I am into too. But if an Ewe man tells you ‘I love you’, know that is sacred. I am a proud Ewe, full of energy and hopes and dreams, pride, silliness … And love.
My ex possessed this sacred gift I could only give to one true woman, and that was my love, but she chose not to see that. She adored me alright, but she couldn’t see past fidelity as her yardstick.
Dave, NO Ewe man on this planet earth is faithful to just one woman. And when I speak of ‘faithfulness’, kindly know what I mean, fidelity. No Ewe man will sleep with just his wife or girlfriend and be content. It’s not in our nature. I don’t know about other tribes, so I speak of my own. We love dearly, work very hard to support our homes. We toil for our families to live comfortably. We love our children, we appreciate our wives, but we keep an extramarital affair on the side to help us focus and stay sane.
If you doubt what I am saying, conduct a simple survey on your platform for all the Ewe men, married or have been dating for the past four years to see which amongst them has slept with just their woman in that marriage or relationship.
Dave, you will not find One. And that doesn’t define us in any way. It’s always easy to see what is going on in an Ewe man’s heart without necessarily us speaking it. We are true to those we are true to. If we are in love with you, then you mean something to us. It shouldn’t matter if we are not committed sexually, to only you. It shouldn’t matter at all. My ex left me for a Fante man and she’s telling me she regrets not sticking to me like that. Her husband is cheating too, which to me, is normal, though not the best of situations.
Most men will cheat on their wives, Dave, and that’s the reality. Whether you marry as a virgin or not, a day is coming in that marriage that he would want to see another woman's face for a change, hear another woman's voice for a change, eat another woman's food for a change, laugh at another woman's concerns for a change, think about another woman for a change, touch another woman's breast for a change, admire another woman's naked body for a change, f**k another woman's sontin for a change. It does not cut our loves for you any lesser. Sometimes, it’s just sex to take us through a moment, other times too, it’s more, but whatever be the case, our wives and children will remain our priority.
If only women would know that whatever good or bad decisions we make as men, outside of our homes, we consider you in it all, that you wouldn’t be so affected by it in a bad way if it’s a bad decision we are undertaking.
I would want to generalize this post to make my point but that would be unfair, so let me stick to my tribe: ‘Mono’ means One, ‘Gamy’ means Spouse. An Ewe man can have and love ONE Spouse at any time, however, no Ewe man is sexually faithful to just one woman.
I think this platform needs to have more honest conversations about love and sex.
Thank you, Dave, for keeping your Facebook platform open for such discussions.”