There is no denying that we all are on a lookout for a little sunshine in our lives, no matter how things are going on. If you are someone who is battling anxiety and depression, even an ounce of positivity can do wonders in your life and get you through the day.

But like everything good in life, encouraging people to be positive and happy, all the time is actually not a good concept. In fact, in this era of self-love--an act of loving yourself and looking at the brighter aspect of life--it is easy to get it confused with toxic positivity. What is toxic positivity? While everyone needs a little pep-me-up from time to time, not everyone is looking forward to straight-up poster positivity, every single time. There are days when you want to just vent and whine without being constantly sprinkled with the ‘positivity dust’. You want to talk about your negative feelings without feeling guilty or judged.
When you are constantly encouraging people to only look at the brighter side of life, without acknowledging what they are going through or letting them experience the complete range of their emotions, it is actually toxic positivity.
To give more clarity, there are a lot of posts on social media doing rounds which talk about ‘positive vibes only’. A lot of these positive sayings do more harm than good when someone is going through a difficult time. This is because sometimes instead of looking just at the positive aspect of the situation, we want someone to validate our feelings and tell us that it is okay to feel that way. It okay to not be okay. Why is toxic positivity dangerous? According to a recent survey published in the journal Emotion, obsessing over happiness can actually prove to be counterproductive. When you think about it, it actually makes sense. Putting a lot of pressure on yourself, to be happy all the time will eventually lead to being unhappy. This happens because when we are constantly trying to be happy, irrespective of the situation, we are bound to feel sad when we experience negative emotions.
A normal human behaviour is to accept the emotions as they come and go, so when you hold onto positivity and refuse to acknowledge anything remotely negative by driving it away with more positive thoughts, you are ultimately paving the way for unhappiness. Still confused? This graphic shared on Instagram, made by Whitney Hawkins Goodman will help you differentiate between putting a mask on to feel positive and actually being happy.

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Here are some positive sayings I found on Pinterest. Alone, they’re pretty benign. But for someone who is really struggling they can sting. I translated them into some different variations that I think still inspire hope, but are validating. What do you think?

A post shared by Whitney Hawkins Goodman LMFT (@sitwithwhit) on Feb 1, 2019 at 7:55am PST

The bottom line

Ultimately, it is important to recognise that we won’t always be able to make sense of what we are going through and we should know that it all is a part of life. The best way to release your emotions is to start journaling, pouring all your heart and soul into it. You can also start meditating to calm your mind and channelise the negativity.

When you bombard people with your positivity, you make them feel scared of expressing their emotions. So, the next time you tell someone to ‘’be more positive’’ and “stop being so negative”, it is advisable to step into their shoes and show a little more empathy.

Source: indiatimes.com