You’ve probably rejected your mother's pleas a million times when it comes to ‘looking for
rishtas’ aka marriage. Countless WhatsApp photos of guys, or a sudden, surprised meeting of the guy and his family, coordinated with your parents are not really common. Feeling pressurised to marry is one of the most common feelings that Indian women have to endure.
Of course, it’s not the law but the society’s will. It is believed that it doesn’t matter if you are successful or not, getting married should be one of your main priorities. Countless women in India feel pressurised to marry and relate it to their self-worth. Society has proclaimed that women have to get married and carry on a family’s legacy because it’s all part of the culture. Generations of women have followed this principle of getting married early and have avoided their preferences and likes in many ways possible. However, if any women dared to follow their heart and decided to marry later, the overtowering personality of the society looked down on these women, enough to make their confidence crumble.
Society’s deep-rooted issues with women’s superiority have been there for centuries. Even if women were successful, they had to get married before it got difficult to produce babies. “Get married quickly, your biological clock is ticking,” is what all women hear when they reach their late 20s. As a result, after some time, dedicate themselves to finding a suitable groom to escape society’s judgemental clutches. They not only feel pressurised but also unknowingly develop wishes to get married. They feel that their self-worth is not measured by themselves or their success but by their marriage.
What is the right time to get married? For Indian women, as per societal judgements and scriptures, the right time to get married is after you turn 25. Even if you fight off saying you have your life to live a little more, your parents are determined to get you married at least by 29. If you reach 30, there are constant worries how others will react!
If you chose your career over your marriage, chances are that you’ll be forever labelled as a rebel. To escape from this, women restrain themselves and their wishes.
But, no matter what, it’s really important to realise that the only right time to get married is when you want to. No pressure, no judgements, but only your decision. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you should have a say in when or who you marry. There are countless duties and responsibilities that can seem suffocating and tiresome. Relentless pressure and crying from parents shouldn’t nudge you to get married as soon as you turn 25 or near your 30s. Parents and relatives fear that with time, men wouldn’t want to marry a woman who isn’t young.
"You'll be past your prime years."
You family may pursue you with the intention of living a lavish and materialistic life, but if you don’t agree, you’ll be termed as a spoiled brat for not wanting lavishness in a marriage. You want someone with the same taste, comforting, familiar or someone who likes pineapple pizza as much as you like.
The goal is to get married when you feel like it. With many social media stories and campaigns promoting women’s choices to be as equal to others, it’s still not too late to defy society and seek your heart out.